I needed to communicate with BSKYB - TO ORDER SOMETHING THAT WOULD INCREASE THEIR BOTTOM LINE.( There does not APPEAR to be any other way than using their 087 number).

I took a deep breath and dialled (1st 087 for at least six months). I listened to the usual blurb (longer of course than necessary).

Then came the crunch . You are in a queue/much valued customer 'crud' YOU WILL NOT NEED TO WAIT MORE THAN ............... 31 MINUTES to speak to a customer service representative.

THIRTY ONE BLOODY MINUTES  ! Merd ! (or is it Merd och ?)

I hung up.

Thanks BigJohn.

I took your advice, rang the 0800 number was told that they could transfer me but there was a 49 minute wait.

Surprisingly they offered to give me a different number to dial but couldn't advise on the wait period !(I assume this was their 0870 number)

I said I'd stay where I was and wait 49 minutes (O.K. with a free 0800). In the event the wait was only about 4 minutes after all (surprise,surprise).

The transaction with BSKYB then took 41 minutes which of course would have cost about £4.00 or so at 0870 rates.

Thank you for the 0800 number. Where/How did you get it. (I obviously failed miserably).

Profits ?What profits ? - It's not about profits -just about helping the customer......