a very nice man
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Great idea Rob, I'll start the ball rolling.
OK folks next time your house is on fire, call 0909 999 999. Dialing this easy to remember number is all you to help save you and your possessions. Just call this number and a group of trained professionals will speeding their to save YOU!
You have to imagine 20 pages of pure crap info.
And it will only cost you an average of £30 per call (I know it's £30, but what is your house worth to you?) as it is diverted to our slave labour script readers camp in Outer OuterIndia, who'se lack of knowledge and understanding of the home language might make things diffficult. But please do not panic as you talk to them, as it might put them off their cup of tea. And don't bother calling from a mobile because it won't work!!
Or if you're having problems with thugs, thieves, joyriders, arsonists, or the odd murderer, use our Police Call Out Service on 0999 1739412548547663890589 at £10 per min But why waste time remembering it as they won't do anything anyway. But keep this number handy, 999, as the next time you see some granny doing 31 mph in a 30 limit at 3am on a Sunday morning, call it and we'll send out, FOR FREE, helicopters and squad cars to pull the evil and foul wrongdoer.
Anyone looking for a job as salesman for my new service?
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